Transgender

This is a story of my Transgender friend who used to suffer bullying for 2 years . So I wanted to make people aware of how difficult it can be to be Transgender.

I opened my eyes and I was in a big bed, my body was covered by white sheets, I was confused, I didn't know where I was ...till I read a poster saying ''thank your for choosing our hospital''.

But how did I end up at the hospital? And why did my parents look so sad and happy at the same time...

My name is Paul, and I'm a transgender .

My life was good, I was going to school, I had great grades, I had lots of friends and my parents were like my best friends. I liked the fact that I could tell them everything and not feel ashamed.

I even remember the day I told them that I was feeling more like a man than a woman, as I was 12 years old I thought that they would have been confused because of my age , but to my surprise they told me that they knew that for ages because of my way of acting, refusing to wear girls clothes...

According to the Kidshealth organization Some transgender people know they feel "different" from the time they're young kids. Others start sensing it around puberty or even later. When people who are transgender become aware that they feel mismatched with their bodies, they may feel confused and emotionally conflicted.

Yes, life was great, especially when people accept you the way you are. I've never had problems in my school for being transgender which made me feel lucky as I've heard horrible things about how transgender people were bullied in some schools, or even driven to kill themselves because of people.

Fortunately , that wasn't my case... or that was what I thought.

On my 16th birthday we had to move house, as my Dad had a new job in Texas . I found it so difficult to say goodbye to my friends, teachers, mostly all my closest people. To leave the place that is your home is difficult...

However, everything started to be harder when I started my new school, because of my looks, and my feminine figure , everyone knew that I was a transgender. I didn't mind people knowing It, as for me it was something normal.

But it seems that it wasn't for them...

High school and middle school bullying in the United States has become epidemic . Transsexual people are routinely victimized .Too often cases of serious bullying are not reported to the teachers and school administrators, and on top of that, there is a disturbing tendency among school administrators to not address these instances.

According to a study conducted by the National Center of Transgender Equality (2011):

82% of transgender youth report that they feel unsafe at school
44% of them had been abused physically (ex. punched, shoved, etc.)

67% of them had been bullied online
64% of them had their property stolen or destroyed

I remember one day when I was in class and the English teacher went to print some documents. There was a boy in my class called Patrick, who seemed to be the most popular in the school.

I remember his voice shouting at me `Ewww, what are you? `Are you an alien?``

My parents always told me that some people are stupid and they only insult you because of their insecurities, so I just stayed quiet..

He suddenly stood up and pushed my chair so hard that I felt down, and while I was on the floor he and his friends started kicking me while everyone was shouting : ''You`re a weirdo, You should not exist``.

It was then that I knew that my nightmare had started.

The threats, insults, and blows increased, I was feeling lost, my grades were going down and the worst thing was that I couldn't tell my parents as they would be worried and they were so happy with my dad's new job, that I didn't want to ruin anything.

As time went on, I was feeling down with depression. Going to school had become a nightmare. I had friends but they weren't real friends, they were scared of defending me each time that I was getting attacked by those monsters. Yes... monsters, people without any heart.

Life was torture. I couldn't even go on my Facebook page as I had lots of horrible messages from people that I didn't even know: ''Hope you die'', ''You should go with the aliens'' ,''You're really ugly''.

I used to be a strong and confident person, but I don't know what was happening, perhaps I was losing myself. I remember my parents always saying to me '' Always be yourself, that’s the best person you can be'' .

But why did I feel like being myself was the most horrible thing ever?

Famous celebrities as Caitlyn Jenner has been fighting for this problems , on her in relation to transgender she said:

“Every time something like this happens, people wonder, ‘Could it have been different, if spotlighting this issue with more attention could have changed the way things happen?’” Jenner asked. “We’ll never know.”

Society was killing me slowly with their words , I was getting tired and started to believe what they were saying.

It was 5 in the morning when I decided to end my life. I just couldn't continue having those nightmares and hiding that huge pain, physically and internally.

I was feeling bad for my parents and my old friends , but especially my parents, who have always supported me in everything. I was feeling ashamed for not having told them what was happening , but it was too late now.

I took a multiple pot of pills that I stole from my mum and I took all of them at the same time.

Suddenly I felt dizzy, my vision blurred, my body was shaking, and the next thing that I remember is a woman's silhouette screaming ''No, please, no!''

And now I'm here, in the hospital, alive. Contemplating my family with sad faces... but happy at the same time. I was alive .

Life gave me another opportunity. I let people control me, the person that I am, and that’s why I ended up here.

''Never again'' I said crying.

My name is Paul and I'm a Transgender.