Depression

People tend to relate depression with ‘’having a bad day’’ or ‘’Just being sad’’.

The truth is that depression is a serious mental illness in which a person is very unhappy and anxious (worried and nervous) for long periods and cannot have a normal life during this time. And the ones who suffer from it know very well that it’s more than having a ‘’bad day’.

I would like to tell my own story about my depression.

Everything started when my partner and I broke up, my family were too busy to pay me attention, I wasn’t accepted at the university that I wanted to go and many of my friends moved to another country ... lots of negative things all at once.

It was then that I started feeling like If I was suffering from a painful feeling as if something was killing me from the inside. It wasn’t that type of pain that you have when you are ill, it was something worse, something malignant. I remember sleeping a lot that was the best cure for me at that time, I could sleep 12 hours per day just to avoid that feeling.

The days passed and I was isolating myself from the world. Thinking about ‘hanging out’ with someone was the worst for me, it was really hard to act as if everything was going okay, just because people wouldn’t understand what’s going on with me and I wouldn’t like to explain something that I don’t even know, so I was always making excuses and going to sleep instead.

The good thing about being ignored by your family is that they didn’t notice that there was something wrong. Except one day, when my grandmother was contemplating my face and noticed that I wasn’t talking or even eating during this few months.

“Is it everything okay, sweetheart?’’ She said.

I didn’t have the words to answer her, because I couldn’t express what was happening, I didn’t even know what was going on with myself.

My grandfather just said “She is just having a bad day’’.

Yes, ‘’ a bad day’’ that’s everyone’s answer; ‘”don’t worry everything it’s going to be okay’’, “stay strong’’, “it’s just a bad time’’. No! It’s nothing like that, I had bad times before but I never felt like this. You feel misunderstood. It’s like you need to wear a ‘’smiley costume’’ just to avoid people questions.

Nights were like hell, those evil thoughts started coming back while I was in bed, it was as if one part of my head was whispering negative things to me; “I’m not good enough for this world”, “No one will ever love you’’ “you’re ugly and fat”, “you’re not worth it’’.

I was always tired, sad, without any motivation. I didn’t have any hopes for the future, all I wanted to do is to end everything…yes, including my life. I was constantly crying, and thinking if I was going to feel like this forever. I was really scared, the devils in my head were taking over.

My thoughts were too much, so one night I decided to end it all

I went to the kitchen and took a knife. Before doing anything I just thought about my entire life and how everything has changed, I thought when I was entirely happy, when everything wasn’t painful... I had all of those thoughts with tears in my eyes.

As I was about to act my little sister suddenly appeared, crying because she couldn’t sleep.

I dropped the knife and hugged her really hard, shaking.

She saved me. She was the reason why I couldn’t end my life.

She needed me, she needed her big sister, I meant the world to her. Thanks to that intervention, I decided to ask for help.

I went to a counselor who diagnosed me with depression, that was the word....that what I was suffering the whole time. They recommend me to exercise more, do activities with people, eating healthy and trying to meet regularly with friends. Of course it took me a long process, but eventually I returned to my normal life again.

I had the chance of being strong enough to ask for help and even though I’m still having difficulties sometimes, I’m feeling so much better.

I would like to say for those who are suffering this, ask for help urgently. Don’t believe that it’s just ‘’a bad time of your life and everything will change’’. I’m here to help, and hear your voices whenever you want, even if you want to talk for hours, but the important thing is to make you know that you’re not alone and to ask for help before it’s too late.

In case that you know o you might know someone who is suffering from depression, here are 9 best ways to support them.

1.Be there

2. Try a small gesture

3.Don`t judge or criticize

4.Avoid the tough- love approach

5.Don`t minimize their pain

6.Avoid offering advice

7.Avoid making comparisons

8.Learn as much as you can about depression

9.Be patient